Excuses and Priorities - at heart
I have been reading a lot about the need for us, the Church, to really re-prioritize our lives to go back to the heart of Jesus. It has made me think for sure, about how I prioritize my life and I have been wondering what areas of my own life were not n-sync with the Lord's heart.
But it was not easy to see what areas of my life needed change. Seriously. I was having trouble with that. And I kept asking God to please help me see. If I cannot see, how can I change?
But alas - God had plans to show me how desperately I needed to see. After all, I had asked...so He was going to show me.
Last November was one such occasion where God showed me an area in my life where I needed to make serious changes - at the heart level - if I was really serious about calling God my LORD.
November is always a crazy month. I was born in November. My son was born in November. I started dating Stephen in November, and I got married in November. To top it off this year, my church had Missions Month and Joint Missions Conference. I am serving in the missions team in our church which meant I was part of the planning team for both events. Yikes!
I tried my best to organize my month, my meetings, birthday plans, etc. But I was stressed. I felt torn. I wanted to do a great party for Samuel but his birthday was smack in the middle of the conference. And to top it all off, Stephen was off to a men's conference overnight for that same weekend (but I was elated when he decided to go! - this was a good thing for him and by extension for us!).
Friday night - sent off husband, welcomed my mom, set everything ready for the kids and grandma. Off to church for the conference. The kids went to bed uneventfully without either us tucking them to bed for the first time ever. The conference went well. One down and two more to go.
Saturday - I decided to skip the conference and told my team I couldn't because of Samuel's parties and Stephen being away. Instead, I spent the day planning for Samuels' 2 parties, hosting the family one that night.
Sunday - I attended the last day of the conference, then got home and got ready for Samuel's playmates for his second Birthday Party -- you can see what I mean here.
By the end of the weekend I was tired but happy. The Lord had showed me many encouraging things over the weekend.
But just when I thought it was all over, a still small voice kept on bringing me back to my decision to skip Saturday's conference. I was feeling uneasy. So I shared with Stephen about my conflict. What I was expecting was affirmation from him to the fact that I was right in missing that day at the church because Samuel needed his parties too.
I didn't get that. Instead, what came from his mouth was unexpected. He said that Samuel didn't need the parties. And that I could always go to the conference first and then have parties.
Immediately I knew it was God speaking to me.
Excuses and Priorities...at heart
The point God was making was not about whether we had to go to this missions conference. It was not about whether we should celebrate the kids' birthdays. It wasn't even about whether it was right to cram so many things in one weekend.
Simply put: God used this weekend to show me there are moments in life when I still put other things in life ahead of God. And the worse part, I sometimes rationalize why I must put them ahead of God - EXCUSES. And most importantly, to simply PAUSE and include God in ALL my plans.
Please don't get me wrong. I don't think God was saying to me I had to attend EVERY event in my church. I don't think God was trying to say I should never spend time with my family.
But here is a reminder of the good news: I'm not supposed to figure things out on my own. God will show them to me
....one step at a time.
May we continue to live each minute for God, to be able to see Him leading and teaching and correcting us, and may we be teachable students, not letting our own pride and stubbornness inhibit us from truly experiencing the full measure of His love.
But it was not easy to see what areas of my life needed change. Seriously. I was having trouble with that. And I kept asking God to please help me see. If I cannot see, how can I change?
But alas - God had plans to show me how desperately I needed to see. After all, I had asked...so He was going to show me.
Last November was one such occasion where God showed me an area in my life where I needed to make serious changes - at the heart level - if I was really serious about calling God my LORD.
November is always a crazy month. I was born in November. My son was born in November. I started dating Stephen in November, and I got married in November. To top it off this year, my church had Missions Month and Joint Missions Conference. I am serving in the missions team in our church which meant I was part of the planning team for both events. Yikes!
I tried my best to organize my month, my meetings, birthday plans, etc. But I was stressed. I felt torn. I wanted to do a great party for Samuel but his birthday was smack in the middle of the conference. And to top it all off, Stephen was off to a men's conference overnight for that same weekend (but I was elated when he decided to go! - this was a good thing for him and by extension for us!).
Friday night - sent off husband, welcomed my mom, set everything ready for the kids and grandma. Off to church for the conference. The kids went to bed uneventfully without either us tucking them to bed for the first time ever. The conference went well. One down and two more to go.
Saturday - I decided to skip the conference and told my team I couldn't because of Samuel's parties and Stephen being away. Instead, I spent the day planning for Samuels' 2 parties, hosting the family one that night.
Sunday - I attended the last day of the conference, then got home and got ready for Samuel's playmates for his second Birthday Party -- you can see what I mean here.
By the end of the weekend I was tired but happy. The Lord had showed me many encouraging things over the weekend.
But just when I thought it was all over, a still small voice kept on bringing me back to my decision to skip Saturday's conference. I was feeling uneasy. So I shared with Stephen about my conflict. What I was expecting was affirmation from him to the fact that I was right in missing that day at the church because Samuel needed his parties too.
I didn't get that. Instead, what came from his mouth was unexpected. He said that Samuel didn't need the parties. And that I could always go to the conference first and then have parties.
Immediately I knew it was God speaking to me.
Excuses and Priorities...at heart
The point God was making was not about whether we had to go to this missions conference. It was not about whether we should celebrate the kids' birthdays. It wasn't even about whether it was right to cram so many things in one weekend.
Simply put: God used this weekend to show me there are moments in life when I still put other things in life ahead of God. And the worse part, I sometimes rationalize why I must put them ahead of God - EXCUSES. And most importantly, to simply PAUSE and include God in ALL my plans.
Please don't get me wrong. I don't think God was saying to me I had to attend EVERY event in my church. I don't think God was trying to say I should never spend time with my family.
I know this was not the first or the last time God will show me something that needs my attention. That requires pause from my life Dare I even say might require submission and change.
....one step at a time.
May we continue to live each minute for God, to be able to see Him leading and teaching and correcting us, and may we be teachable students, not letting our own pride and stubbornness inhibit us from truly experiencing the full measure of His love.
"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1-2 The Message)
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