Live Out Loud - Adventures of a mom

I was typing this on my Facebook page but as it got longer, I realized this was more suited for the blog. Many people are struggling - no. They may not be depressed. No. It is not that they need 'help' the way you think of help. They may be burned out I know I am But can you hear yourself? Are you saying to me "maybe you overdid it Sandy?" I know my kids are. I know friends and friends' friends are. But how do you know? If I am still getting my job done, my kids' grades are great, and friends seem to be managing. How can they be burned out? If we give them a break, does that mean they will "NOT" be burned out? I just finished Rene Brown's spotify podcast on Burnout with Emily and Amelia Nagoski.  Here are my reflections.   I highly encourage you to listen to it. Are you feeling tired but you don't really know why because you haven't been 'doing' much? Are you feeling you you don't get much done? Are you feeling like nothi...

Almost 20 days ago, after teaching online during the day, I began to feel a bit of a sore throat, of voice strain.  As a teacher, that is usually my body trying to shout to me and say "Stop Talking So Much" But I have a habit of ignoring my body's signals.  I hydrate a lot regularly and I sleep like a baby.  I tried to speak softly but when I speak like that, it-takes-a-lot-of-energy Yes, I know it might sound strange, but speaking softly takes a lot of energy and my overall energy level drops when I don't speaK! A few days pass, and I begin to drink more hot honey drinks and then that progressed to taking some cough drops while teaching. Hmm.  This happens often (as a teacher) but this time, my mind jumps to "Do I have Covid?" But I brush it aside.  I, alongside my entire family, hardly ever get out; to be honest, we don't even go out for walks as often as we should! But a few days passed and now the chest feels tight sometimes and I feel tired.  Then I...

 I wasn't supposed to write anything today, but my mind keeps on wandering to what happened between the time Jesus dies and the time the women find that He is no longer dead. Today, my mom reminded me also that tomorrow, resurrection Sunday, happens to be the Chinese festival of Tomb sweeping. And today, I see that the covid-19 numbers continue to climb and the ICU's continue to see more and more people. It is easy to miss on all of this, but as I bring these to my consciousness, I actually see a lot of mourning, pain and death. The disciples just got the shock of their lives and I wondered if they are still in shock, a day after Jesus truly is dead.  Joseph of Arimathea truly took Jesus' body down and with Nicodemus, they embalm Jesus and they truly bury him. I have seen death in my life (see previous blog posts on death: Facing Death,   So this is love too , Head on , among others [search: death]) and I wonder if the disciples are still in shock.  Just a day ago th...

  This morning I read what Jesus did with his disciples after their dinner.  We read how things got from bad to worse very quickly; so bad that it will lead Him ultimately to death. It is a journey of betrayal, hurt, loneliness, agony, pain, and separation. And it was GOOD, because that was the entire reason why Jesus came in the first place. But before moving onto all the events that mark the ultimate betrayal, hurt, loneliness and death, what catches my attention was Gethsemane. Dinner started well with the disciples.  They were probably still amazed a stranger let them use his house to prepare for the Passover dinner.  They were having a good time but then Jesus got 'weird' again and started telling them about betrayals that made no sense and departures that sounded so depressing ( "where I am going you cannot go").  And then Jesus starts washing their feet and telling them to love one another and follow His example. Some were probably listening more than oth...

In today's reading, we read about the Lord's Last Supper, Jesus washing the feet of the disciples, and Him declaring that Judas would betray Him and Peter would deny Him. (Matthew 26:17-35; John 13:1-38) It is a lot to digest. As a teacher, and being that right now I am mentoring a student teacher, my attention gravitates towards Jesus' teaching methods.  He always sets the example.  He always takes the first step.  He doesn't lecture first.  I wonder what the disciples might have thought when he stood up and prepared the towels and basin to wash their feet.  I imagine that there was an "awkward" moment.  Stares being made.  Heads shaking in disbelief. But Jesus doesn't ask.  Jesus doesn't explain.  Jesus just does. And I wondered.  How many of the Twelve really paid attention? How many were observing intently? How many continued eating?  How many saw and went back to the conversations and food?  How many were so appalled at ho...

Here are the ingredients you will need for swiss meringue buttercream.  This is my go-to buttercream.  It is silky and not sweet; light and fluffy.  But beware:  it is based on egg whites. Ingredients: 1 cup of ROOM TEMPERATURE unsalted butter, cut into cubes 2-3 egg whites (preferably at room temperature)*** 1/2 cup regular sugar 1 tsp pure vanilla 1 pinch of salt Equipment: A bowl that can be placed as double boiler and a pot to heat the water A mixer - you cannot make this by hand knife ***I use pasteurized liquid egg whites.  They are a little tricker to handle, be easier as I do not have to worry about what to do with the egg yolks.  It also gives me more assurance since they are pasteurized).  If you are using liquid egg whites, use 1/3 cups of egg whites Other notes: 1.  Get good quality butter and don't skip the steps - take the butter out and keep it at room temperature a day before you use it 2.  If you want to do a lot of piping an...

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."  Did you grow up like me learning the Sinner's Prayer?  Did you attend 'training' sessions to teach Christians "how to lead a friend to Christ"?  Were the steps more about what to DO rather than what to BE? That is how I grew up.  That is what I saw other grown ups do when they invited others to become Christians.  That is what I observed.  The more "spiritual" people would "LEAD" others by telling them things like "let's pray; repeat after me" After people became Christians, I would see people rejoice and there would be an almost "sigh" of relief.   And after that, they would tell them "you have to get baptised now." And if they do, the "project" was complete.  And as some later told...