Burned Out

I was typing this on my Facebook page but as it got longer, I realized this was more suited for the blog.

Many people are struggling - no. They may not be depressed. No. It is not that they need 'help' the way you think of help.
They may be burned out
I know I am
But can you hear yourself? Are you saying to me "maybe you overdid it Sandy?"
I know my kids are.
I know friends and friends' friends are.
But how do you know?
If I am still getting my job done, my kids' grades are great, and friends seem to be managing.
How can they be burned out?
If we give them a break, does that mean they will "NOT" be burned out?

I just finished Rene Brown's spotify podcast on Burnout with Emily and Amelia Nagoski.  Here are my reflections.  I highly encourage you to listen to it.

Are you feeling tired but you don't really know why because you haven't been 'doing' much?

Are you feeling you you don't get much done?
Are you feeling like nothing you do really makes any difference?
...
You (and I) may be burning out. We all go through it. So many people are emotionally exhausted, losing a sense of accomplishment and depersonalizing (losing empathy and compassion)
KIDS included
So many of us feel if covid is over, when everyone gets the vaccine, then we can go back to normal. That these 'bad' feelings will go away
They won't
Emotions have to go through their cycles. If we don't let them go through the cycle, it will metastasize
***
I was reading and listening to some work by Rene Brown and Emily and Amelia Nagoski and found it fascinating (and worrying that so many people, especially women, do not know this) to learn more about burnout and stress
Remember, the cure for a burnout is not the absence of the stressor (the stress is still there); it is NOT to only shut the world down and engage in self-care (you can't if you do not have a safe place with people who value your need to self-care).
We all need to lean WITH each other and care for each other's needs.

"Wellness is not the gold at the end of the rainbow; the rainbow is the gold"

Please do some physical activity, breath, cry, laugh with someone, if you have someone at home, hug, and create.

And no...our kids are not immune. They are burned out too. Let them cry. Teach them to breathe. Hug them in between your Zoom meetings. Create something with them.
If you are or have women in your lifes. Remember that women do not have to be calm and collected all the time. You CAN have intense emotions.

Check on each other - offer to be safe spaces. Learn about mental health together. Tell each other what's happening.


Let's try not to only post the happy moments. Yes, I am burned out too. But burn out does not mean I "overdid" it. That suggests that If I did less, I would not burn out. That shames and points the finger at me.
I am burned out because I am human. I am burned out because the stress levels have been outpacing the resources I have been using to drain off the stress.
If someone is trusting you with their life; don't just offer ways to 'get out of the situation'. Journey with them so that the emotions can get through the entire tunnel.