Live Out Loud - Adventures of a mom

So it is Christmas....and soon enough, the end of the year.  One of our family traditions is for me to put together a year review movie and to show it to family at our dinner gathering. But there is more to it than just putting together a slide. Putting this together takes me back to all the things we saw, did and learned in the year. So I find myself hearing God asking me... Did you see what I see? 1.  What did you see in your son? He is no longer a baby.  I know it's almost cliche to say it but time really does feel like it's flying by.   It has been a year of discovering who he is and how to manage emotions God gave Him.  It has been a year of finally being let to play Minecraft.  I have seen him grow stronger in mind, body and spirit.  We have journeyed with him through hard times of learning.  We have been proud of him seeing him try his best and to face challenges in his early life head on.  We have seen him discover new tal...

I have been trying really hard to think of what to get my kids as presents this Christmas. Even my son said, "Mom, I don't want any more Legos..I have too many" But then, a few days later, he discovers "Lego Dimensions" and takes his words back.  "Those are not Legos..it would be nice to have those" We all are like my son .  So many of us have everything we need...at least in the material sense. During Christmas time (or Birthdays) it has become a HEADACHE to think of SOMETHING the kids would love seeing under the tree because very few things will bring real surprise and joy. And I'm not saying that is their problem.  We, adults, have the same problem. If you were to ask me what I'd love for Christmas...I wouldn't know.   If I want something, I go and buy it myself .  I have very few things I can truly say I want but I can't get. We have lost a sense of understanding of the true meaning of Gift Giving Giving should ...

The dreaded phone call. The dreaded email or voice mail message. The dreaded, "can you come in for a second?" during pick up time at school. Hello, Mrs. Lam..... Oh Oh..... Do you know what I'm talking about?  Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Parenting is challenging.  We all say it. But really, there is no way to truly comprehend how challenging it is until you walk through it. Just like everything else in life?   Hmmmm.  Not sure about that. What I DO know...is this: Parenting is emotionally draining I expected the tireless nights, the fevers, the dirty floors, the 'accidents' and even the sibling fights. I didn't expect the EMOTIONAL toll the journey would take on me. I didn't expect the EMBARASSEMENT ,                                                  the sense of  FAILURE ,       ...

I am looking out the window from my dorm room.  There is a lot of hustle and bustle in the hallways. Everyone is excited to be getting ready to 'go home' for the first time after we started the school year. It is my first Thanksgiving here in Canada...away from home. It's the first time I really thought about that word:   home .  How interesting that you never really give it much attention when you are there, when you are home.  But once you leave it, all of a sudden a part of you is yanked out leaving it a gap, a hole, an emptiness nothing else can fill. For the first time I experienced what home-sickness  really felt like.  In a world where there is no Internet, no social media, no e-mail and not even the option of calling home.  The only way to connect with family, available to me, back then, was by writing letters. And the hope of going home is not there - I don't know when I will be back.  I didn't buy a return ticket.  I don't h...

Refugee.  n.   a person who has been forced  to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster. Foreigner. n.  a person not belonging  to a particular place or group; a stranger or outsider. To live in Fear and Uncertainty I have never been a refugee so I don't know what it would be like to be one.  But I can imagine it being 1000 times worse than some of the experiences I've had in the past. A few years ago I was in the middle of the highlands in South America.  I was traveling in a 'red' area - an area where terrorists were known to go around.  I had heard stories of kidnaps in the middle of the road and the family traveling with me actually told me their saga of being taken by terrorists only to be released miraculously later on. With all of this in mind, and having lived in the capital city during the years of heavy fighting between the government and the terrorists, I had a pretty good idea...

"O  Lord , you have examined my heart  and know everything about me .  You know when I sit down or stand up.   You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.  You see me when I travel  and when I rest at home.   You know everything I do.  You know what I am going to say  even before I say it,  Lord . You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head. [...] I can never escape from your Spirit!   I can never get away from your presence!  If I go up to heaven, you are there;    if I go down to the grave, you are there.  [...]  even there your hand will guide me,  and your strength will support me . You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body  and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. [...] Search me, O God, and know my heart ;    test me...