FEEL but LIFT

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"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.  You know when I sit down or stand up.  You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.  You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.  You know everything I do.  You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.[...]I can never escape from your Spirit!  I can never get away from your presence!  If I go up to heaven, you are there;  if I go down to the grave, you are there. [...] even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.[...]Search me, O God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you,  and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139
Feelings.

Do you ever feel like you want to feel less?

I do. 


There are days I want to
          .....care less
               .... love less
                   ....think less
                       ....feel less

I tell myself, if I can do that, life would be so much easier.

If all the feelers could do what the non-feelers advises us to do, the world would be 'better'...

We would not cause frustration to those around us.  We would be able to deal with life 'like them'

The world would be a better place if I could feel less.

I ask God why I have to feel so much sometimes.  I ask Him why couldn't He have made me more 'normal'

I wonder if indeed I am the problem.

                   Cause there are many days I do feel like I am the problem.

I feel I'm weak for not being able to control my feelings.

**************************

Please don't ask me "why" am I feeling sad.  Don't ask me "what" caused me to feel this or that way.  Don't ask me to "be more positive".  And PLEASE, stop saying:  "Try not to be so sensitive"
If I am excited - you think I am  exaggerating
If I am  worried - you think I don't trust God enough
If I am  surprised - you think I am  overreacting
If I am  scared - you think I am not thinking straight
If I am moody - you think I am weak

Why couldn't you stop Fixing us and instead just feel happy or sad WITH us?

If I could change, 
don't you think I would have done it already?

Do you think we like to be feeling so much all the time?

We get hurt more often...and in your mind, perhaps, unnecessarily often.  But We also REJOICE more often...and still, you find a way to think that we REJOICE too much.

Couldn't you think that perhaps every second of our lives

TASTES
                 SMELLS
                                   SOUNDS
                                                        LOOKS and
                                                                               FEELS 
in FULLER, BOLDER and more CLEAR colours than you?

We just want for people to see and accept us just the way we are.  But alas, I don't think that is possible.

And in the end, chasing people's acceptance isn't what I am called to be here on earth.

God accepts me just the way I am.  And in cloudy and gloomy days, THAT is all I have...


and though the pain is still there....
                                HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH

God never makes mistakes

             I am not a mistake

                      The world needs people like us

                                 It certainly feels lonely sometimes, but God never leaves us

"For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you." Joshua 1:5

I am not 'weak' because I feel before I think.

(Instead, Why couldn't I think "They" are 'weak' because they think before they feel?)


BUT>>>
Just because we feel first 
doesn't mean we can't or don't think


This world is a tough place to be.
        Tougher if you are a feeler
                    Tougher if you are male
                               Tougher if you an adult

But that doesn't mean I need to change.  God made us this way.  
You are not a mistake

"You formed the way I think and feel. You put me together in my mother’s womb." Psalm 139:13 (ESV)

I've tried it..you know?  Not to feel so much.  I've tried not to care.  I've tried to just be selfish and focus on myself.  I've tried to even be mean.

I can't

The Spirit that breathes on me wants me to feel.

But He wants me to feel and LIFT my eyes to Heaven
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip -  he who watches over you will not slumber" Psalm 121:1-3



THERE IS FREEDOM

I am not called to CARRY.  I'm called to feel and LIFT.

"As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. 13 As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle." Exodus 17

Continue to feel, but learn the RIGHT way to Feel

Whether you
Feel.  Sense.  Absorb.  

Or

Think.  Ponder.  Reflect.
......First


We must  .... LIFT

Lift it to God.  To your Father.

We are not meant to Carry....we are meant to Lift

And....I am exactly the way God designed me to be.

There is no mistake.


So ... even though I sometimes still wish I could feel less like others...

I will Embrace it
I will Nurture it
I will Use it
I will Feel it

and I will Surrender it ALL to the One who Gave it to Me:  My Father in Heaven...who knows exactly what He is doing.

This...shall be part of my legacy to my children and perhaps to you, feeler, who is reading this.

You do not need to TAME your feelings
You do not need to SHUN your feelings
You do not need to FEEL Less

Instead....

Trust that if you ask HIM, the SOURCE OF ALL, He will give you the ability
To DISCERN your feelings
To FEEL with all your SENSES
To USE them for God's Glory

To be FREE

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love." Gal 5:13

Because...

The world tells you to CONTROL your feelings because they don't understand what God wants us to be

Both LOGIC and FEELINGS need a MASTER.

But the master should not be us - LET GOD be the Master.

LIFT all you feel up to the ONLY one who Understandings FULLY and COMPLETELY

Be FREE


Comments

Anonymous said…
Love your post
December 03, 2016
Sandy said…
I'm so glad to hear! I don't get to hear from people very often - hope it encourages you
December 03, 2016
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