Live Out Loud - Adventures of a mom

When was the last time you... - refilled your home's washrooms' toilet paper? - cleaned the washroom? - vacuumed? - refilled the salt and sugar containers in the kitchen? - folded your clothes after washing them? - washed and changed your bed sheets? - washed your house curtains? - watered the lawn? - refilled the soap and/or dish detergent? Think of the last time you went to Costco/your local supermarket...What did you buy there?  Aside from food...when was the last time you bought: - pepper? - soy sauce? - oil? - dish and laundry detergent? - toilet paper? - garbage bags (if you are like us, where we are required to use biodegradable ones)? - toothpaste I ask because lately I've notice these 'mundane' things I seem to do in an endless cycle...and these are things we can easily take for granted.  Yes, we might do the laundry from time to time...but who makes sure the detergent is always there?  Yes, we might refill the toilet paper when we n...

We are sitting on the dining room table, Sarah, 3, Samuel, 5, and I, eating our usual breakfast - toast with butter and milk... Suddenly, my daughter looks at me in the eye, touches my hands and asks, "mommy, why are you so sad?" Taken aback with the question, but even more so with the accuracy of her assessment and observation, I muttered in my response.  "Do I look sad?" She reassesses her observation, looks at me intently as if she is looking for signs that she was wrong and proceeds to reconfirm her assessment:  "Yeah, you look sad" My heart is breaking inside but at the same time astonished at this candid opportunity.  "Yes, mommy is a little sad.  Mommy has been thinking of a lot of things and I am a little worried...so maybe that is why I look sad" Suddenly, my son interjects matter-of-factly, while he chews on another piece of toast: "mom, I worry all the time too" "Why is my 5 year old worried all the time?!...

This is a part of my journey so far in life that was both confusing, stretching and yet rewarding.  Up until yesterday I think it had been overshadowed by all the challenges we faced after the birth of our first son.  But as I sit here in a college during our church's first retreat, while my beautiful son next room draws and my serene daughter sleeps beside me, and as I ponder and ask God to impress in my heart things that matter to Him, I am drawn back to this part of my journey. I share this because I know I'm not the only one who has gone and will go through such a thing.  And I want my children one day to know what mommy and daddy did when they faced loss and loneliness so that they may know they are not alone, and that many others have gone before them...and even more importantly, that they may understand that regardless of the loss, God is a real God, a loving God and one who continues to love... The year was 2005 and after some weeks of struggling I had decided...

It was a delight to see my 5 year old son try to follow the rest of our church sing worship songs to God during our retreat this last weekend.  His reading skills are improving and it is great to see him being able to follow the rest of us. But greater still was when I realized this weekend that my son not only is reading and singing for the sake of feeling included but that he was reading and singing for comprehension. We were singing this song yesterday: All to Jesus I surrender; all to him I freely give; I will ever love and trust him, in his presence daily live. Refrain: I surrender all, I surrender all, all to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all. 2. All to Jesus I surrender; humbly at his feet I bow, worldly pleasures all forsaken; take me, Jesus, take me now. (Refrain) 3. All to Jesus I surrender; make me, Savior, wholly thine; fill me with thy love and power; truly know that thou art mine. (Refrain) 4. All to Jesus I surrender; L...