Empathy

We are sitting on the dining room table, Sarah, 3, Samuel, 5, and I, eating our usual breakfast - toast with butter and milk...

Suddenly, my daughter looks at me in the eye, touches my hands and asks,

"mommy, why are you so sad?"

Taken aback with the question, but even more so with the accuracy of her assessment and observation, I muttered in my response.  "Do I look sad?"

She reassesses her observation, looks at me intently as if she is looking for signs that she was wrong and proceeds to reconfirm her assessment:  "Yeah, you look sad"

My heart is breaking inside but at the same time astonished at this candid opportunity.  "Yes, mommy is a little sad.  Mommy has been thinking of a lot of things and I am a little worried...so maybe that is why I look sad"

Suddenly, my son interjects matter-of-factly, while he chews on another piece of toast:

"mom, I worry all the time too"

"Why is my 5 year old worried all the time?!" Then I realized, whether he does worry or not, he was trying to empathize with me. He wanted to let me know I was not alone...that he too worries...

Make a mental note Sandy, I told myself.  Remember this precious moment in the years to come...

Of course, being the mom I am, I proceeded to continue the conversation to find out why my son worries all the time and what he worries about.

But that will be left for another blog entry........

In 5 minutes I learned more about observation, sensitivity, reaching out and empathy from my kids than what books or sermons could teach me.

They were real - and that is what touched my heart.

They were honest - and that got me listening.

They cared enough to ask and speak out - and that is how I found out others noticed.