The new normal
When it all happened, everyone spoke about things being "surreal" and us being "shaken". Being stripped of comforts we have here in the first world, some of us started feeling humbled by the realization we are not invincible.
We missed our old normal, but many of us also shared that this was also God's way to
'wake us up'.
We felt that God was stripping all things that we have hung onto that were, well, preventing us to really be the person we are meant to be.
So without a church to go to, we had to face the hard questions.
"What is church if there is no building to go to?"
"What is ministry if there is not place for us to execute programs?"
Without schools to send my children to, we were faced with having our kids (from very young to teens and young adults) at home, perhaps with us, 24/7. We had to face the hard question
"What does learning mean and what does it look like?"
"Why do I really wish for them to be in school right now?"
"What does it really mean to spend quality time together?"
"How much do I really love my family or have I really been just avoiding being with them?"
Some of us have the blessing of working from home. But others may have had to deal with a pay cut or a layoff. Without the security of a job, we had to face the hard question (beyond and beside the financial ones)
"Why do I feel so lost?"
"What did my job give me besides my paycheck?"
Many of us reflected the first couple of weeks. We told ourselves despite all the pain and suffering, God was giving us much needed rest and time. We were grateful, or tried to be. We told ourselves this might have been God's way to help us RESET and REEVALUATE life and how we live it.
But then we adjusted...or at least I have.
This is our new normal now. We sleep in, wake up, go online to work or study, eat leftovers for lunch, go back to work, watch some TV, bake or do something fun, have dinner, watch our family show "the Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy" together and retreat to our rooms for more R&R and then say good night.
Once a week, my husband makes a 5 min drive to the local supermarket to restock while I stay home with the kids and we go online for their piano classes. We each have Bible Study groups during the week, and we worship online on Sundays.
This is my new normal.
No one stresses on Sunday night. No one cries on Monday morning. We are actually quite busy.
But then this week God WARNED ME.
I may have brought many of the things God had warned me about on week 1 of the lock down. When my body was yanked out of my comforts and when my eyes were opened. In the quest to create a new comfort, and despite all my "yes, Lord, thanks for showing me this"
I may have re-created a new normal with the same old comforts from before.
And may of us came to realize -- TIME was not always the reason we could not feel close to God. Even with the Time I have now, have I managed to incorporate into my new normal things that were ABSENT in the old normal?
In the quest to "keep church moving", have I found comfort in just riding through and feeling joining my fellowship and service once a week sufficient? If so, I may be doing even LESS than before.
Have I found a way to connect and care for others?
Have I found a new way to BE part of the church and be Jesus' hands and feet in this new normal?
Because if not, my new version of 'church' in this new normal could be even FARTHER from the "follow me" Jesus actually calls me to. I mean, I am in my PJ's and wake up only 15 minutes before "service" starts and find it even EASIER to 'multitask' while YouTUBE is on while our pastor preaches.
In my new normal, how does 'support' to my kids look like? Am I finding myself yelling more? How do I have fun with them? What do we do together? Why is it so challenging to have them around the house?
This past week God burst my new normal.
I had created a new normal that was comfy, comfortable. My new normal had no Monday blues. My new normal saw me in comfy clothes. My new normal did not require me to love more, or be more patient to deal with "challenging people" because I just simply do not have to see them.
My new normal was actually becoming MORE isolate, selfish and disconnected. And the scary part? I was becoming comfortable in it.
And then this week I received news of friends with no money to pay for groceries, of friends losing a loved one who was totally healthy the week before, and a couple of friends who had to drive family to the ER because of chest pains.
Not only did I wake up, but the inability to DO anything to "help" them left me speechless. I asked God "what could I do?" to ease their pain, support them and lift them up and all I heard was:
"YOU HAVE TIME"
He again, is stripping it all. What is left is what should always have been first.
I can help them -- if I really believe that God is their shepherd. I PRAY. Day and Night.
I pray that God may continue to help us build a new normal where church is not just online sermons, or where we get stuck in how clear the videos are but in how many meaningful connections we make. A new normal where no program needs to tell us to check on a friend. As the Spirit leads, we listen and 'go'. A new normal where we walk by faith, day by day. A new normal where we spend time with God. A new normal where we stubbornly reject the desire to fill the days with the same things that have been pulling us from God, family and friends.
A new normal where we look at our kids and see them 'in action' while learning, while frustrated, while scared, while bored and we come alongside and let them feel and where we try to journey with them despite all our impatience, lack of knowledge and yes, even limited love.
A new normal where we learn that the best help is prayer. Is to pray for each other because we are unable to 'be there'
A new normal where we do not revert back to our first world comforts and worry about not being able to get out, or go for dinner at our favorite restaurants, or have the trip we had planned. But a new normal where we dare to see that the neighbor, friend and church brother and sister may be scared, may be sick, may be unable to buy groceries or pay rent. Yes, I may have lost a lot of money in my cushioned investments, but a new normal where I learn to just seek only new 'cushions' for myself.
Time, my friends, is just a disguise. We have time, but we find ourselves filling it with the same things that we filled it with before the pandemic. I still do not want to face the fact that a voice inside me says "you are useless unless you DO more". I still fill the days wanting my kids to score perfectly in assignments instead of appreciating the efforts put forth. I still fill my time wanting to deliver the perfect online class that is impossible. I still fill my day trying to fix Internet glitches so that the videos and conference calls I lead look as professional as possible.
The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want.
I am the sheep.
My my new normal not mean me trying to be a shepherd again.
Lord, make me to lie down in green pastures -- a new normal where you force me to experience laying down and doing nothing.
You lead me besides quiet waters -- a new normal where we walk side by side, but where you are always taking just a step ahead of me
You restore my soul - a new normal where no covid19, or unemployment, or an empty bank account, or fights with my family, or boredom or restlessness can affect me
My shepherd, keep on using your rod and your staff. I so need it. It is almost scary to think that I can adapt so fast and recreate a new normal that will not be in the paths of righteousness.
What is your new normal like? I pray we all continue to be UNCOMFORTABLE, for when we are, we can find comfort, we can lie in green pastures, we will fear no evil and our cup will overflow.
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