It should be 'fun'!

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How many of us have done it?  You sign up your kids to a class and send them with an encouragement: "it will be fun!"

I tell my kids to enjoy their school, tennis, swimming, drawing, and piano classes.  I tell them they will love it even when they are hesitant.

And yet when I see them learn in those classes a hidden evil in me creeps out and I begin to think

"yikes...she has no coordination - why can't she hit the ball like the rest of the class"

or

"what now...why are you crying?"

or

"listen to the teacher son.  Listen...like the other boys"

or

"how did you do in your quiz today? (meaning - "how many did you get right")

or

"don't just paint everywhere - stay inside the line!"

or

"read out loud - so everyone can hear it" (maybe he is reading to himself???)

The fact of the matter is that for as much as I tell my kids to 'enjoy' their classes, I am also sending them a mixed message - because I do ask them to pay attention to PERFORMANCE.

I am learning - learning to debunk this bad old habit, learning to enjoy the process MYSELF first, learning from them what ENJOYMENT really means, and learning to go against the flow.

It became very real to me this Fall.

I started taking tennis classes.  I figured it would be 'fun' to learn a new skill where I get to work out these old sore muscles.

Then I realized - I was experiencing what I put my kids into all the time -- a new class!

I was nervous going into it.
I had to meet new 'classmates' and teachers.
I had no idea who "Ace" and "Alley" were.

And the most humbling experience:  I was not good at it!!!

But I could hear myself talking to myself each time I tried to hit the ball and failed.  "Go Sandy, you are doing great!" - cause that is what I do with the kids.

Yes, it should be fun - and being in a new class where I have to learn something new in 'public' has given me new insights into what fun should and shouldn't be.

And I'm learning to ask perhaps better questions when I pick up my kids from their classes...


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