Dear Mrs. Thumb

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Dear Mrs. Thumb,

The first time I met you I hardly noticed you.  It was 4 years ago when we met our daughter Sarah for the first time.  I suppose I noticed you only when I looked at her hands and fingers and noticed how girly they were compared to my son's at birth.  Back then, you were just a thumb, just another part of my baby daughter's anatomy.

But since then we have gotten to know you more than Ms. Hair, Mr. Feet or Mrs. Eyes.  You 'stuck out' from the crowd because Sarah chose to love you and to almost depend on you when she most needed someone.

We have had this love-hate relationship, haven't we?  At times I was so grateful you were there for Sarah.  When she couldn't fall asleep or needed some extra comfort.  During those long road trips in the car or in a hotel bed.  Or when we sleep trained her as a baby.

But there were so many times also when I wished you were not so closed, like when Sarah had a cold and was all stuffed up.  Relying on you just added her frustration because sucking you meant not being able to breathe - and hence, not being able to fall asleep.  Or the times we visited the dentist and were reminded it was time to let you go.  Or the times we felt it was time to 'move on'.  Or the times when she wanted to be close to you during the day, or after playing outside, with a dirty hand.

I have gotten to know you indeed.  You have gotten wrinkly in your short 4 years due to constant use.  You look more beat up than the rest of the family. While the others were nice and soft, you had cracked nails, and wrinkly skin and you simply looked 'flat'.  Not pretty.

I have looked at you, smelled you, felt you, joked about you, discussed about you with doctors, dentists, friends, Sarah and my husband.  You have taken a prominent role in "Sarah lingo" for the past 4 years.

And then the day came when we had to help Sarah detach herself from you.  Last night we put bitter polish on your cracked nails and prayed for the best.  Sarah could not help it and sucked on you on 3 occasions, each met with an unpleasant taste.  But Sarah did it! - she fell asleep without you and she stayed asleep all night, for the most part.

If you had a voice, what would you say about all this?  I wonder what stories you would be able to tell, what cute things Sarah has told you in the quietness of the night....

It's the morning after the first night without you - and I know it will take a few more nights before we develop a new habit - but it's a new morning and I feel Sarah has entered a new phase, and so have us.

I wonder if in 20 years Sarah will look back and remember her adventures with you.  Fear not Mrs. Thumb, if she forgets, I'll at least pass her this letter....and remember...from now on, your youth will be restored...at least for a few decades before you wither again, but this time with the rest of your 9 siblings :D

With gratitude,

The Mother

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