Covid19 - Digesting

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"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" Eccl 3:1

 There is so much happening in our world.  Today, depending on when I started counted, is week 2 of what I would call the Wake up by the Western World.  

 What is happening?  Why do I feel uneasy even though I know I'm comfortably 
    sitting in my rather 
                  comfortable house, 
                   full of toilet paper, 
                   food and frozen foods, 
   equipped with strong unlimited Internet, 
         have an unlimited supply of shows via Netflix, Disney+, YouTube and 
                 if all fails, I still have huge inventory of 
                         BlueRays, DVDs, CDs, Books and Games?

 The Western World is just beginning to wake up.  We are learning, that as people and as country, 

             we are not INVINCIBLE.  

 That even though in our brains we've always said, of course we are not invincible, our actions really reflected the opposite.  

 To realize that I am part of that SHAKES us and DISORIENT us.  Even I have felt and thought 
         I was 'better' educated, 
           I live in a country with a 'better' system, and 
               we have 'better' hygiene and services.

 The world is forcing me to see the TRUTH - at the end of the day, rich or poor, sheltered or homeless, educated or uneducated, young or old, spiritual or atheist, or no matter what country or race I belong to...

 That word is SCARY and I have very little CONTROL over it.  THAT, is hard to wrap our minds around in real time, real ways, not just philosophically speaking.

 With all the public announcements, news, and social media shares from friends and family, it can seem like there is no way out.

 When in danger our body does one of three things:  
       Flee, 
       Fight or 
       Freeze.

Which one are you at right now?

The Three F's: Fight Flight or Freeze


 FREEZE

 I think I froze at first.  I froze and while frozen I let everything and everyone feed me information.  There was so much noise out there.  

 "It can't hurt" to share, many people told me.  Excuse me, but YES, IT CAN HURT if the information is misinformation.

 In my life, and many of ours, we must exercise our WILL to decide what to feed to our minds, eyes, souls and hearts.  We usually don't just sit still and "let it come".  Last week, for the most part, I froze.

 But we cannot freeze forever.  I had to tell myself to GET UP 
It's instinctive

 Freezing was hurting me

 But despite wanting to run away (more of this later), I also had to GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to freeze.
Freezing helps me connect to a vulnerable part of me.  The part that might not be very glamorous, or courageous or pretty.  Because when I freeze, I am vulnerable.  I am weak.  I realize I (too) need help.

 But in the freezing, there can be beauty.

 In the freezing, I see truth.

 But I cannot stay frozen for long.  So I tell myself, "one week".  One week and then we've got to move

 FLEE

 And as the days pass, I begin to flee.  I told myself "I can't deal with all this anymore"  So I run away

            I watch movies, 
                     I do work, 
                          I clean the house.
                                 I stop watching the news.
                                        I pretend all is good

 At first it felt good; but as soon as I quieted down, the worries, wonders and burdens of the world around me weighted on me again.
It was still there.

 So I realize we can't run away.

 But here again, I learn to be COMPASSIONATE to myself.  
It's OK to flee ... for a time.

 I realize it's OK to watch a movie, to laugh, to make jokes, to try to return to 'normal'...but the PURPOSE now is different - 

 I am doing it because I am DIGESTING the world and new realities
Atypical is becoming TYPICAL
  • The healthy is becoming the sick
  • The introvert is feeling more at home than the extrovert
  • Not having work is becoming expected
  • Having too much free time is becoming a 'problem'
  • "What should I do today" has replaced "I don't have enough time to do it today"


 So I tell myself, I need to create a new TYPICAL.  As NORMAL is stripped away from us, I am forced to SEE what is LEFT

 And I tell myself, I HAVE TO LOOK.  Because the alternative, running away, will hurt more than the looking (and perhaps not finding much left).


 FIGHT

 And this leads me to this week.  I still have moments when I freeze and flee, but I have a stronger sense of needing to FIGHT now

 But HOW? and What am I fighting?

 I start looking out.  At first, it is easy to want to fight decisions we do not agree with at the government work, school, church or family level.

 But at the root, all those fights - verbally, physically, emotionally or mentally, are futile.  And perhaps that's part of the grieve, uneasiness, discomfort and sense of helplessness.

 They UNSETTLE me
I want NORMALCY

 So I realize I can fight, but not in the typical ways.

 So I fight by 

  • creating a new normal in the house with the kids
  • connecting by reading the Bible with people interested online, at 10:30 am every morning
  • checking on people and encouraging them
  • praying for people in more dire needs than I
  • offering people who do not have masks my ample supply
  • staying at home


 The new typical...

 Whether you are fighting, fleeing or freezing, remember this

 Give yourself PERMISSION to be there, but 
            set for yourself a TIME LIMIT.  
                      Set boundaries that are healthy.  

 Don't be afraid to 

  1. BE in the moment, 
  2. GET out of the moment, 
  3. ASK for support to be in either one, and 
  4. ALLOW yourself to try and fail in the process.  


 You are DIGESTING the news and the new reality but in the process, you are also digesting what REALLY MATTERS.

       When you digest, you will find yourself even though the process is unnerving.  You will realize we are all in need of each other and are interconnected.  You will learn new things about yourself and our world.

 It takes TIME.
Be KIND TO YOURSELF

 It is only AFTER we allow ourselves to 
FEEL the shock, pain and amazement
SEEN what's left when everything 'sure' is stripped
and 
TRIED to react in ways that may not really last nor work


 that we can move on to 
RECONNECT
RENEW
REDEFINE 


TO FACE... (more on that...)


Comments

Darren said…
As always well stated and communicated. That's quite a gift
March 27, 2020
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