Re-defining my role, once again

I used to hate change.  I used to ask God why things had to change, especially when things were, in my opinion, going well.

But soon enough, life teaches you that change is just part of life.  God then teaches you that change is not only part of life, but that they are opportunities for growth, and windows into the excitement of a dynamic life.

I used to think being a stay-at-home-mom meant giving up my career to focus on home and the kids (back then I thought that just meant washing, cleaning, feeding and changing diapers).

Then I learned that being a stay-at-home-mom meant learning to enjoy God's presence in all the mundane things I did during the day.  And in that process, I became closer to God and gained a deeper perspective on life.  He shattered some lies I had lived with and replaced them with truth about who He is, who I am, and what I'm here for.

But then, God showed me there was a world outside the comfort and safety of my 2 story semi detached house.  And as a stay-at-home mom God was calling me to open up my life to share with my neighbours.  It all started one day when a good friend of mine, upon visiting us from Vancouver, commented while we were at the park with my kids:  "Sandy, your ministry is right here, amongst all these young families!"

At the time, I had no idea what that meant.  But it was the beginning seeds God was planting in me.

I have gone from feeling like this stay-at-home-mom business was a good sacrifice for my kids to realizing it was God's calling to not only use me to bless my family but others.

But just when I thought I had understood and embraced my role as a stay-at-home-mom....God had new things to add to that role...

As the kids started to go to school full day everyday, I found myself wondering...."what does a stay-at-home mom do during the day?"  What did God want me to do with during the day?  I wasn't bored....I had a million things I could and had to do.  But I was curious to see what God had in mind too.

I wrestle with God for 2 full months in the summer but when September rolled in...I began volunteering in the kids' school.

I started volunteering in my kids' classes, began taking the initiative to get to know the secretary at the school, the teachers, the janitors....pretty much anyone I would see.  God reminded me that these people had personalities, lives, beliefs, traditions, pet peeves, etc.  And I was reminded to see them as people God loves...not just people I should get to know because they may or are with my kids during the day.

I began attending the school's council meetings and volunteered in different activities.  One such activity was the Pizza Days. I now have a much deeper appreciation for all that is involved:  the organization and coordination it takes, the counting of the orders, the dealing with orders with errors, counting funds, ordering pizzas, coordinating delivery to the school, and then to the classes, dealing with kids whose pizzas fall on the floor, or those who think they paid but really didn't....

And God reminded me to be friendly.  To introduce myself to other parent volunteers. To smile.  To talk with them and get to know them.  God reminded me I needed to do this for Him, not for my kid's sakes, or to make sure I know my kids' friends' families.

I used to think of people who do these things as 'nosy' people who had nothing else to do but gossip and mess into other people's lives.  And I guess some people might still view it that way.  But the difference for me has been this:  God has challenged me to use the time I have to pause and notice LIFE as it happens around my neighbourhood, and then to use those insights to PRAY for the community, to pray for myself so I may know how God might be calling my family to respond in ACTION, and to share, where appropriate, with other like-minded sisters so that we may continue to be that beacon of light.  So far, it has not been about DOING much, but more about BEING involved and LISTENING and OBSERVING and ABSORBING life as it happens daily with people from the community, around me.  But whether I am called to pray, do, be, observe, listen or absorb, the call is the same:  be intentional, get out of the house, be Jesus's hands and feet in the community

(Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven")

I am beginning to realize this.....as a stay-at-home mom right now, I have the blessing of having the opportunity to choose and organize my time during the day so that I may serve God through the school community.  So though I still remind myself to be joyous while washing, cleaning and cooking at home; while chatting with the kids or reading them a book; now I realize I am being called to spend some hours during the weekday to be in touch with those lives in the school.

And the beauty is this -- my kids' well being is still very much on the top of my to-do list!  But while I learn to care for the community (school) I am finding my role as care provider for my kids is met as well.  There are relationships established with staff at school and other families.  Even in issues where we do not meet eye-to-eye, just having that relationship as a foundation makes things so much easier.

Of course there are days I feel stress.  There are days I don't want to go to volunteer.   There are days I feel all of this is pointless.  There are days I wonder if I should go back to work.   And there are days I tell God I should just focus on my family and mind my own business.  But then I am reminded of all the things He has promised me.  God shows me His love for this world - my neighbours.  He reminds me of His plans for me.  And I know that I can never feel complete if I don't follow His lead.

It's a new season.  Until God leads to the next phase, there is much I can do to learn in this current one:  new people to meet, new perspectives to see, new cultures to explore, new lives to engage in....all in my community.