Say Sorry like you mean it

“Build up, build up, prepare the road!
    Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.”
15 For this is what the high and exalted One says—
    he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
    but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
    and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Isaiah 57

I catch my kids doing something wrong.  They first act as if nothing wrong happens.  But then they catch my eye and mine catches theirs.  They know they've been caught.  But I try not to say anything.  I hope they understand and know enough (by now) what they need to do next.

A few seconds pass.  I keep looking at them.  They finally give in and come to me.  Their eyes say it all.  They are sorry ... they've been caught.

We talk about what was wrong about what they did, say or do.  There are words said about why they tey show in their face they don't fully agree with my assessment of the situation.

They run to fix what they've done wrong.  They Rush to CHANGE the behaviour to show it to me and to please me.

I stop them.  What's done is done.  I don't want them to rush to change.  I expect something ELSE before that change.

They give me a confused look as if somehow that look will lessen my expectations.  It doesn't work.   I finally have to say: "What do you need to say first?"

"SORRY"

But I do not ACCEPT that apology.  "Did you mean what you said?"  "No," they confess.  But they continue chiming on the reasons why they disagree with me.

Are you familiar with this picture? If you are a parent, you probably are.  If you are a teacher, you might.  If you are someone's child, which we all are, you probably are.  If you have EVER been wrong, you probably are at some level.

This is the Truth I've learned this week.  

We don't say Sorry to Jesus often enough with sincerity.

What I've come to realize is that I have not said "Sorry" and meant it deeply, to God, for a long time.  Sure, I've felt BAD about mistakes, but I rush to change.  What I say and think a lot are things like:

- That was wrong; let's not do it again

- It's not good to do this and that....we need to change

- Let's try to stay accountable so that we won't do this or that

These are all good, but didn't Christ teach us to "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord" (Acts 3:19)

Why do we feel these words are only for those who decide to become Christians?  Why do we, after we become Christians, feel it's ok to just brush our sins lightly and just say "God knows my heart"?

How can God deliver us, change us, speak to us and guide us if we do not continue to repent, layer by layer, day by day?

"I turned away from God,

    but then I was sorry." (Jeremiah 31:19 NLT)

Do you remember the last time you turned away from God and THEN was sorry ?  I'm not talking about the day you became a Christian.  I am talking about LATELY....when was the last time the Spirit of God CONVICTED your heart, CALLED to your attention to "Come" to Him, and have a chat?  Did you notice He was waiting for a "Sorry" and for us to come to see how wrong we were and the need to MEAN what we SAY?

What about Forgiveness?

When my kids hurt each other, in the end, there is something for the one who was hurt to do:  They must forgive.  They don't always do.  They feel they are entitled to their hurt

"So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:3-4)

The condition given to forgiveness is not when the person hurt you simple rights the wrongs done.  In fact, sometimes, a wrong done may have no chance of being corrected.  Jesus simply commands us, if a brother or sister sins against us but they REPENT afterwards, we have to FORGIVE.

Just because.

After one of my kids says "Sorry" like they mean it, and after they try to correct the wrong (if it's correctable), they have one more step to do - ask for forgiveness.  And the person wronged (the sibling) has to forgive.  The cycle of growth is not complete if there is no forgiveness.

We continue to have sinful tendencies.  The longer I'm a Christian, the more the Spirit shows me the sins in me still in need to be surrendered to God.  God cannot change us if we do not repent or do not forgive.  Any change we make (like my kids) would be temporary fixes.  

When was the last time we said Sorry like we mean it? How can real change happen if we don't 'go there'? If we teach this principle to kids, why do we think we can get away with just saying to God "oh, that wasn't nice, I'll do better next time"?

Transformation change can ONLY happen when we surrender our sins to God, when we feel the pain of sin, when we repent and spell out the wrong, and when we ask for forgiveness.  Only then, can we 'move on' and experience the peace and joy and transformational power of the Holy Spirt to continue to transform us.