#firstworldproblems
The hashtag #firstworldproblems is quite popular. I see it in posts from friends across social media; and I have used it myself. Usually we tag this to comments or posts that relate to complaints or pet peeves we face, but that we are aware are not commonplace issues for the rest of world.
That prompted me to think about what I have learned while growing up in Peru, a third world country, during a time when terrorism was a very real and daily threat. Inflation was rampant. Political stability rare. Kidnappings so common people they wouldn't make it to the news.
Even in my third world experience I acknowledge I had it much better than many other people. But, that is the experience I can look back to when I look around and ahead, here, in my current #firstworldlife.
A very wise professor of mine once said, " everything in life is based on comparisons".
"You look lovely today" - is based on your comparison of how I look today compared to how others look and what you deem "lovely".
"I am starving" is based on your comparison of how you felt when you were full.
"This is a problem" is based on my comparison of what constitutes a blessing.
We compare all the time and we let our conscious and unconscious comparisons dictate how we colour the world we live in.
We know some of our #firstworldproblems must seem silly to some. But we truthfully feel they are real problems, even if we are unwilling to proclaim it to the world because, hey, let's be honest, we 'know' we should be 'thankful'.
But, how can we gain the right perspective to be thankful?
I do the third part very well - too well. I plan almost too much. As soon as I am about to finish something I am already planning - no, I am already worrying - about the future. The result?
I fail to mark every present moment. I have forgotten how to party, have fun, celebrate, and place markers in my life.
And...I have forgotten to look back for sometimes treasures are found in the midst of the distant past that will help us mark the present and plan the future
1. WATER
We have running water INSIDE the house now. I never had to buy water but I do remember rationing it. I remember our house being filled with buckets and buckets of water because we never knew when the tap would dry up. We also learned quickly how to save water: The water you use to bathe and to wash anything can be used to flush the toilet, for example. Never waste water.
We have running HOT water inside the house. I grew up in a world when the ELITE had hot water ONLY if you turn on the water heater (because you could afford to have one). And because heating water takes up electricity and/or gas, you only heat up when you need water to wash yourself. Using hot water to do your dishes? Are you crazy? That would be a waste of energy.
Water pressure. This might seem silly but have you ever noticed how great it feels to have the water from your shower (hot, remember?) hit your back with a massaging force? That, is a gift! Yes, my washroom had shower heads but we seldom used it. We instead use buckets. Partly because it saves more water, but partly because the water pressure in many houses/buildings was just terrible!
You can DRINK from the tap?! When I first came to Canada I was shocked to hear people tell me the tap water was drinkable. And to think that now, people don't drink it because they question the water quality (erosion of government trust?), or they opt to get filtration systems of their own...or worse yet, we buy water.
2. ELECTRICITY
We know it is a blessing, but we don't really get it because it's so readily available to us. We just complain about how expensive our hydro bills are.
My kids find it 'romantic' when we get the once or twice a year power outage due to a winter storm, or due to too many people using their AC's in the summer. They think it's fun.
Where I grew up, we never had any guarantees that power would be there when you need it. You just never knew. So when we do have it, we cheer. When we don't, we light up candles. And when we are not sure? We don't mind as much because we have learned to accept this as a reality in life.
And electricity is expensive. I remember turning off appliances as soon as we would finish using them. I remember dad deciding not to buy a bread maker, or bypassing ironing clothes because certain appliances take up too much power.
We had a dryer in the house eventually, but even then, it was used thoughtfully. For simple clothes that can easily dry up in the air God provided us, we would just hang them to dry.
3. EDUCATION
When my kids turned 4 and 6 we had a BIG decision to make. What kind of school should they go to? Public? Private? Christian? Montessori? French Immersion?
Where I grew up, my parents had choices too. Let's not oversimplified the issue. But the options were minimal. And it was quite easy to decide: if you can afford it, you go to private. If you can't, go to public.
We may have lots of complaints about our public school boards, but hey, just by paying our city taxes our kids get FREE EDUCATION for about 15-18 years.
This was a new world to me, because where I came from, we had to pay. I remember mom trying to scramble to find enough money to pay our MONTHLY tuition, which by the way, kept increasing monthly at one point. Nothing is free either - I remember receiving the long list of books and school supplies we MUST get in order to go to school.
When my kids first went to school here, I had no idea what to 'buy'. I was truly confused - why is there a big fuss about back to school shopping? I couldn't figure it out. I mean, here the kids get all their books from the school, don't they? And even if they don't have a pencil, I'm sure the school will provide to them. Now, having gone through a few back to school seasons I do understand why we do need to shop - but BY COMPARISON, most of those things seem like OPTIONS rather than absolute necessities.
I can read and write. Not just a little, but quite well. That, in itself, should make me feel blessed every morning I wake up. I can read signs so I know where to go. I can read the news so that I know what is happening in the world. And I can read notes from friends who remind me someone out there cares and loves me.
But there is more. My children are surrounded with books. We buy books. We go to libraries. We live in a literate culture.
Growing up I had no idea what a library was, except for what I had seen in Hollywood movies. I didn't grow up with books used for leisure, and I didn't step into a real library until I was 15, when I came here. I had no idea how a library loan system worked. I had no idea what kind of 'stuff' you can get there.
Next time you hold something that has words on it - Be thankful. Many people in the world don't even have the language they speak in written form. And some who do have, have to wait for months, even years, to see ONE book written AND printed out. AND even after that, they might not have resources to gain ACCESS to them.
4. HEALTH
There was a lot concern about a measles outbreak a while ago. We here can choose when to vaccinate and have access to information about vaccines. I am not saying we shouldn't research and make informed decisions, but let's pause and think...our access to health care is unbelievable in some parts of the world.
I didn't pay a cent during the entire 9 months I was pregnant with my children. ZERO. Nada. And I don't pay anything every time I visit the doctor, or have to use the emergency room.
Even after living here for so long I still find this point astounding. A few years ago, my husband had a health situation and was hospitalized for many days. We didn't pay a cent for the ER service, surgeries, therapies and subsequent visits to the surgeon. Nothing. It took me a few minutes to digest that.
Where I grew up, you pay for every single thing. I still remember our church trying to get everyone to raise enough money to help people we knew who were 'stuck' outside a hospital because they needed money to be not only admitted but also money to buy gauze, syringes, even cotton balls.
Yes, there is a lot our health care system could improve on. But sometimes it might help to think about what we have instead of what we don't.
5. SHOPPING and MONEY
During the harsh times, I remember dad coming home with boxes of rice, sugar, evaporated milk (the first time I remember trying fresh milk was when I was about 11 because we were visiting Canada). Dad was stocking up 'while supplies last'. While supplies last meant something very different back then. It meant, once it's gone...it might be gone for weeks or months. (so yes, at one point, it was common to see every corner of our house filled with either rice, milk, water or candles)
I have to take medicine on a daily basis. We had to stock up even on my medicine. I still remember going from pharmacy to pharmacy trying to stock up on my meds during a 'low' period and the panic we faced one time when I ran out of drugs and dad had to go around the city scouting for my drugs.
I remember a time when dad would tell me keeping and 'saving' local currency was useless because of inflation. Instead, it made more sense in our world to stock up on basic necessities.
And I still remember, that one bottle of Coca-Cola mom splurged on us one time, during a period when we struggled financially the most. Coca-Cola to share. And every drop was oh-so-sweet.
I have cans and cans of Coke in my basement now.
And imports? Hardly any. That is why mom learned to make soya sauce, Chinese salty eggs, and all sorts of dishes. And that is why when I first tasted Ramen Instant Noodles it was like heaven. Back then, I still remember the odd times dad would find a great 'find' - he would come home with Pringles chips - ONE can only. And we were given ONE CHIP at a time...for some great job we did. And don't get me started on rarities such as lychee. We had heard a Chinese man had successfully planted lychee. They were selling it by the unit. So a nice friend of ours bought us 4 - one for each one in the family. I can tell you, I still remember tasting that lychee!
6. SILENCE and PEACE
I still remember the first night I slept in Canada. It was so quiet. It was eerie (it didn't help that I was a homesick teenager). Have you ever noticed what silence SOUNDS like? It's funny but silence is relative to what you have experienced, too.
I didn't know this Silence existed back then. Hearing noise in the middle of the night was a given. You don't call the police to complain about a neighbour being noisy.
And peace? I still remember the night a car bomb blasted about 10 houses from ours, on the same street. It shattered all our windows. Our first reaction was not shock. Car bombs were common in the city back then. Our first reaction was to go make sure everyone was ok because we knew it was a bomb, without knowing it was actually a bomb. And afterwards? I remember dad calling mom to make sure our shattered windows would not cause robbers to run sack our house.
*****
There are so many other things I can think of as I Look back to be able to gain perspective on my #firstworldproblems. And let's face it, some of the past I just shared with isn't restricted to only third worlds...I know many of you would identify with some of the experiences, even if you consider yourself having grown up in a second or first world country.
And I haven't even began telling you the world I lived and witnessed when I visited communities where people had way less than me.
It gives me more reason to WANT to look around so that I can live in the present. I want to mark it. I want to enjoy it. I don't want to rush it. These moments, once unmarked, will be bygones. These moments, if marked, will become the foundation for tomorrow's look backs
One day perhaps my own children will read this and come to an understanding of where I came from. Maybe they will understand why I have a tendency to care too much about money. Why I worry gas will run out when the tank clearly shows half a tank is still there. Why mom loves to read so much, or is always so thankful for the doctor we have.
Sometimes I worry that my kids present will be the same as their future - and as a result, they will struggle with the "looking back" part of gaining perspectives. And yet, I suspect, 25 years from now if they look back at their own past, they will also see, remember and gain...
Look Back ... so that you can LIVE Ahead.
Look Around ... so that you can Taste and Mark the Moments
Look Ahead .... so that you can hope for the future.
Perhaps, just perhaps, if we do that, we will begin to see how some of our very own #firstworldproblems can be overshadowed by all the #firstworldblessings.
That prompted me to think about what I have learned while growing up in Peru, a third world country, during a time when terrorism was a very real and daily threat. Inflation was rampant. Political stability rare. Kidnappings so common people they wouldn't make it to the news.
Even in my third world experience I acknowledge I had it much better than many other people. But, that is the experience I can look back to when I look around and ahead, here, in my current #firstworldlife.
A very wise professor of mine once said, " everything in life is based on comparisons".
"You look lovely today" - is based on your comparison of how I look today compared to how others look and what you deem "lovely".
"I am starving" is based on your comparison of how you felt when you were full.
"This is a problem" is based on my comparison of what constitutes a blessing.
We compare all the time and we let our conscious and unconscious comparisons dictate how we colour the world we live in.
We know some of our #firstworldproblems must seem silly to some. But we truthfully feel they are real problems, even if we are unwilling to proclaim it to the world because, hey, let's be honest, we 'know' we should be 'thankful'.
But, how can we gain the right perspective to be thankful?
Look back, and remember the past.
Look around you, and mark the present.
Look ahead, and plan the future.
I do the third part very well - too well. I plan almost too much. As soon as I am about to finish something I am already planning - no, I am already worrying - about the future. The result?
I fail to mark every present moment. I have forgotten how to party, have fun, celebrate, and place markers in my life.
And...I have forgotten to look back for sometimes treasures are found in the midst of the distant past that will help us mark the present and plan the future
So today I am looking back with a very specific purpose: so that I may compare it with my present so that I can live the moment, and mark it in a meaningful way. I want to live the moment, so that I gain perspective and meaning when planning my future
1. WATER
We have running water INSIDE the house now. I never had to buy water but I do remember rationing it. I remember our house being filled with buckets and buckets of water because we never knew when the tap would dry up. We also learned quickly how to save water: The water you use to bathe and to wash anything can be used to flush the toilet, for example. Never waste water.
We have running HOT water inside the house. I grew up in a world when the ELITE had hot water ONLY if you turn on the water heater (because you could afford to have one). And because heating water takes up electricity and/or gas, you only heat up when you need water to wash yourself. Using hot water to do your dishes? Are you crazy? That would be a waste of energy.
Water pressure. This might seem silly but have you ever noticed how great it feels to have the water from your shower (hot, remember?) hit your back with a massaging force? That, is a gift! Yes, my washroom had shower heads but we seldom used it. We instead use buckets. Partly because it saves more water, but partly because the water pressure in many houses/buildings was just terrible!
You can DRINK from the tap?! When I first came to Canada I was shocked to hear people tell me the tap water was drinkable. And to think that now, people don't drink it because they question the water quality (erosion of government trust?), or they opt to get filtration systems of their own...or worse yet, we buy water.
2. ELECTRICITY
We know it is a blessing, but we don't really get it because it's so readily available to us. We just complain about how expensive our hydro bills are.
My kids find it 'romantic' when we get the once or twice a year power outage due to a winter storm, or due to too many people using their AC's in the summer. They think it's fun.
Where I grew up, we never had any guarantees that power would be there when you need it. You just never knew. So when we do have it, we cheer. When we don't, we light up candles. And when we are not sure? We don't mind as much because we have learned to accept this as a reality in life.
And electricity is expensive. I remember turning off appliances as soon as we would finish using them. I remember dad deciding not to buy a bread maker, or bypassing ironing clothes because certain appliances take up too much power.
We had a dryer in the house eventually, but even then, it was used thoughtfully. For simple clothes that can easily dry up in the air God provided us, we would just hang them to dry.
3. EDUCATION
When my kids turned 4 and 6 we had a BIG decision to make. What kind of school should they go to? Public? Private? Christian? Montessori? French Immersion?
Where I grew up, my parents had choices too. Let's not oversimplified the issue. But the options were minimal. And it was quite easy to decide: if you can afford it, you go to private. If you can't, go to public.
We may have lots of complaints about our public school boards, but hey, just by paying our city taxes our kids get FREE EDUCATION for about 15-18 years.
This was a new world to me, because where I came from, we had to pay. I remember mom trying to scramble to find enough money to pay our MONTHLY tuition, which by the way, kept increasing monthly at one point. Nothing is free either - I remember receiving the long list of books and school supplies we MUST get in order to go to school.
When my kids first went to school here, I had no idea what to 'buy'. I was truly confused - why is there a big fuss about back to school shopping? I couldn't figure it out. I mean, here the kids get all their books from the school, don't they? And even if they don't have a pencil, I'm sure the school will provide to them. Now, having gone through a few back to school seasons I do understand why we do need to shop - but BY COMPARISON, most of those things seem like OPTIONS rather than absolute necessities.
I can read and write. Not just a little, but quite well. That, in itself, should make me feel blessed every morning I wake up. I can read signs so I know where to go. I can read the news so that I know what is happening in the world. And I can read notes from friends who remind me someone out there cares and loves me.
But there is more. My children are surrounded with books. We buy books. We go to libraries. We live in a literate culture.
Growing up I had no idea what a library was, except for what I had seen in Hollywood movies. I didn't grow up with books used for leisure, and I didn't step into a real library until I was 15, when I came here. I had no idea how a library loan system worked. I had no idea what kind of 'stuff' you can get there.
Next time you hold something that has words on it - Be thankful. Many people in the world don't even have the language they speak in written form. And some who do have, have to wait for months, even years, to see ONE book written AND printed out. AND even after that, they might not have resources to gain ACCESS to them.
4. HEALTH
There was a lot concern about a measles outbreak a while ago. We here can choose when to vaccinate and have access to information about vaccines. I am not saying we shouldn't research and make informed decisions, but let's pause and think...our access to health care is unbelievable in some parts of the world.
I didn't pay a cent during the entire 9 months I was pregnant with my children. ZERO. Nada. And I don't pay anything every time I visit the doctor, or have to use the emergency room.
Even after living here for so long I still find this point astounding. A few years ago, my husband had a health situation and was hospitalized for many days. We didn't pay a cent for the ER service, surgeries, therapies and subsequent visits to the surgeon. Nothing. It took me a few minutes to digest that.
Where I grew up, you pay for every single thing. I still remember our church trying to get everyone to raise enough money to help people we knew who were 'stuck' outside a hospital because they needed money to be not only admitted but also money to buy gauze, syringes, even cotton balls.
Yes, there is a lot our health care system could improve on. But sometimes it might help to think about what we have instead of what we don't.
5. SHOPPING and MONEY
During the harsh times, I remember dad coming home with boxes of rice, sugar, evaporated milk (the first time I remember trying fresh milk was when I was about 11 because we were visiting Canada). Dad was stocking up 'while supplies last'. While supplies last meant something very different back then. It meant, once it's gone...it might be gone for weeks or months. (so yes, at one point, it was common to see every corner of our house filled with either rice, milk, water or candles)
I have to take medicine on a daily basis. We had to stock up even on my medicine. I still remember going from pharmacy to pharmacy trying to stock up on my meds during a 'low' period and the panic we faced one time when I ran out of drugs and dad had to go around the city scouting for my drugs.
I remember a time when dad would tell me keeping and 'saving' local currency was useless because of inflation. Instead, it made more sense in our world to stock up on basic necessities.
And I still remember, that one bottle of Coca-Cola mom splurged on us one time, during a period when we struggled financially the most. Coca-Cola to share. And every drop was oh-so-sweet.
I have cans and cans of Coke in my basement now.
And imports? Hardly any. That is why mom learned to make soya sauce, Chinese salty eggs, and all sorts of dishes. And that is why when I first tasted Ramen Instant Noodles it was like heaven. Back then, I still remember the odd times dad would find a great 'find' - he would come home with Pringles chips - ONE can only. And we were given ONE CHIP at a time...for some great job we did. And don't get me started on rarities such as lychee. We had heard a Chinese man had successfully planted lychee. They were selling it by the unit. So a nice friend of ours bought us 4 - one for each one in the family. I can tell you, I still remember tasting that lychee!
6. SILENCE and PEACE
I still remember the first night I slept in Canada. It was so quiet. It was eerie (it didn't help that I was a homesick teenager). Have you ever noticed what silence SOUNDS like? It's funny but silence is relative to what you have experienced, too.
I didn't know this Silence existed back then. Hearing noise in the middle of the night was a given. You don't call the police to complain about a neighbour being noisy.
And peace? I still remember the night a car bomb blasted about 10 houses from ours, on the same street. It shattered all our windows. Our first reaction was not shock. Car bombs were common in the city back then. Our first reaction was to go make sure everyone was ok because we knew it was a bomb, without knowing it was actually a bomb. And afterwards? I remember dad calling mom to make sure our shattered windows would not cause robbers to run sack our house.
*****
There are so many other things I can think of as I Look back to be able to gain perspective on my #firstworldproblems. And let's face it, some of the past I just shared with isn't restricted to only third worlds...I know many of you would identify with some of the experiences, even if you consider yourself having grown up in a second or first world country.
And I haven't even began telling you the world I lived and witnessed when I visited communities where people had way less than me.
It gives me more reason to WANT to look around so that I can live in the present. I want to mark it. I want to enjoy it. I don't want to rush it. These moments, once unmarked, will be bygones. These moments, if marked, will become the foundation for tomorrow's look backs
One day perhaps my own children will read this and come to an understanding of where I came from. Maybe they will understand why I have a tendency to care too much about money. Why I worry gas will run out when the tank clearly shows half a tank is still there. Why mom loves to read so much, or is always so thankful for the doctor we have.
Sometimes I worry that my kids present will be the same as their future - and as a result, they will struggle with the "looking back" part of gaining perspectives. And yet, I suspect, 25 years from now if they look back at their own past, they will also see, remember and gain...
Look Back ... so that you can LIVE Ahead.
Look Around ... so that you can Taste and Mark the Moments
Look Ahead .... so that you can hope for the future.
Perhaps, just perhaps, if we do that, we will begin to see how some of our very own #firstworldproblems can be overshadowed by all the #firstworldblessings.
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