Reflections of a Suzuki Piano Mama
I just had an interview with two Suzuki Piano teachers this week. They were both very nice and I learned a lot more about this method to piano teaching. I asked them a lot of questions and asked about my concerns over Suzuki students not being able to read music properly. Both told me they introduce music reading soon after we start though the focus is not on that. All the questions I raised were answered satisfactorily so after chatting with hubby we decided to sign Samuel up for lessons with one of these teachers. Since both were good I based my decision on whom I felt I clicked better with.
I am a little apprehensive about this new phase for us, especially with this new method of learning to play piano...but excited. My wish is that my children will not only learn to play piano because it's the thing to do - after all, we are Asians - but that they will discover a new way to express their feelings through music. I don't want them to associate piano playing with suffering or thoughts of mommy screaming at them.
Dear Diary (September 2011):
So...just like that..I am a parent of a 4 (going to 5) year old Suzuki piano player. We decided to keep Sarah off from lessons for now as both interviewed teachers mentioned the second child always able to catch on faster. Besides, Sarah just turned 3 years old this month.
From the get-go the lessons were different in some ways to what I have known as piano lessons in my life. First thing the teacher told Samuel to do is to improvise on the piano. To really play. I grew up with the concept of never touching the piano to 'play' unless I had a proper song in mind to play. I found it very amusing that the teacher would actually encourage my kid to improvise on the piano. And in the process, I have learned to appreciate their creations instead of deeming them inferior to 'real' music.
It is awesome to witness a child truly enjoying the music they were making with the teacher. It is fascinating that Samuel would create songs that actually have patterns, and musicality. He also improvises at home and sometimes he would tell me things about his song: it is a happy or sad song, or would sometimes give it a name and title.
I also noticed a lot of positive reinforcement and encouragement and along the way a lot of focus on proper conduct around music whether it was as an audience or player.
My role in the lessons is quite different too. My own mom used to drop us off at the teacher's studio for lessons. As a Suzuki piano parent I have signed up to commit to participate actively in my child's journey in music discovery. In practical terms this means I am a co-coach to the teacher, and she makes sure this is no secret to my son. I am his teacher's helper at home. Sometimes it is hard to stay awake during class but I have to take notes, interact with Samuel and the teacher, and participate when needed. During the week, I have to sit beside Samuel at the piano, guiding, encouraging and spending time together. I have found this at times enjoyable and at other times it is so hard I wished I could just have a 'regular' piano student.
Dear Diary (Fall 2011):
We are still working on the bow!!! Who would have thought a 'simple' bow would be so complicated? But the teacher insists in getting it right. Smile properly, hands on the side, not too fast, not too slow, bow all the way down and come up slowly, feet together but slightly apart....phew!
Practice time - although originally I loved that this method focused on 'family time and bonding time with the parent' in actuality it is hard!!! Often time I would be so exhausted from the day that by 4PM practice time this Suzuki piano Mama is cranky and becomes the typical cranky piano mama that just screams and nags her child to just play everything off his/her list.
Dear Diary (Winter 2012):
Sarah just started lessons. Now it is harder for me to find time and energy to practice with not one but two kids...and they are both so different!!! I am learning not to compare the kids (e.g. Sarah hates to be called to practice while Samuel loves it) and instead to see each kid as a unique individuals.
I am experiencing what co-coaching means. I shared with Samuel's teacher my challenge during practice time - sometimes I am just so tired! And she encouraged me to persevere, to try a new time perhaps, to focus on not finishing the list of to-do's but to focus on what Samuel IS able to do and to remember I am spending time with my child. Even just that talk alone was enough to bring me back to a right place and to continue on.
The other day I found myself in conversations with other parents with kids learning piano the traditional way and was asked "what pieces can you kids play? How many pieces can they play?" At first I didn't think this would bother me much. After all, I was completely in agreement with the philosophy that regarded piano playing skills like learning a language (you don't learn to read and write before you learn to speak and understand). But...
So far all Samuel can play are variations of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star ... that is it. The focus here is on many different techniques (more on that later) but I have to admit when talking with other piano mamas part of me 'wishes' my son could 'show' more.
Having said that, and being that a reality for me to keep in check, I do even more so now than before, agree with the focus on proper technique rather than pieces from the start. The slow start really forced me to appreciate the nuances of music, the differences different ways of hitting each note and what that does to the music, the usage of the fingers, wrist, arm and shoulders when playing piano, the way one is seated (distance, leg and arm position, back position), etc. etc.
Samuel now knows how and when to do these properly: 'rainbow fingers', 'watching their crocodiles', 'rolling wrists', using 'sleepy hands' and 'straight roads'...all these nuances are things I realize now make a huge difference in how the music comes out. And for that, I am amazed...and grateful.
Dear Diary (Summer 2012):
As a piano student I never paid attention to the way the songs I played were structured. Now I do. It almost comes naturally to Samuel now, whenever he is given a new piece to tackle, to tell me "mom, there is a pattern!"
Samuel is told to notice how songs are structured and to tackle the hardest parts first. Yes, it brings many tears sometimes (you cannot avoid them I suppose), but they are reassured over and over again that tackling the most difficult parts will make the latter parts easier - and they always do.
Hubby's commitment has to be there too - though he is not the designated parent, there are Saturdays when I cannot be at a lesson. These have actually become good opportunities to force him to sit in the lessons and catch up on what the kids are learning. He has to take lots of notes for me! Aside from that, we try to have him sit and have the kids 'perform' for him at home. The kids love it.
I have also notice a major difference in how tears/frustration are managed. As a child learning piano in the past, I never felt comfortable enough to show my frustration in front of my teacher. I loved my teacher to death but I don't think the relationship I had with her was the same as what we as a family have with our Suzuki teacher. I also never felt mom acknowledged my tears during piano practice at home - instead, I was just told to continue practicing.
Samuel and Sarah cry too - they are no different. And I do get frustrated with them too - I am no different. The difference is that I feel very comfortable sharing these experiences with their teacher and we discuss ways to continue guiding them in a positive environment, focusing and highlighting the accomplishments while pushing further. I also witness how she manages the tears when they do happen during lesson time.
The other day I was watching my cousin's kids recital videos and for the first time I noticed huge differences between them and my kids. We have had living room and big recitals but aside from the most noticeable (our kids do not read music during recital), I also noticed how much more complex their music was compared to mine. At first I felt bad, because I felt maybe my kids aren't progressing...but then I also noticed other things...posture, understanding of recitals, technique...and even whether their little feet was dangling in the air or positioned rightly on a stool. I suppose now that I've been a Suzuki piano mama for a while I have learned to not take these 'little' things for granted.
Dear Diary (Fall 2012):
I was reminded not to focus on tackling everything on my kids' practice sheet every day if that becomes too difficult/much. So it is all much more fluid now. Some days we do family scales, some days we don't. Some days we practice one song the other day we do something else. Yet another adjustment from bad habits I brought from my own experience - I remember as a child being told practice time was over when I had checked off all the things I had to do on the list.
Sarah is a handfull - she is much younger and she has a tendency to not want to play if she feels she cannot do it properly. So at the teacher's suggestion, we have created flashcards with tasks on each. We have pretty much broken down a large task such as "play Twinkle Variation A" Into: "Left Hand Twinkle Variation A Part 1" "Part 2" "Part 3" "Part 4" and all the same for Right hand - so just for Twinkle Variation A I have now 8 cards! It was a lot more work, but she loves to pick a card and would play it without any complaints!
I had to also try charts for her to help encourage her to practice. Visualize and Celebrate every single small accomplishment. We also count and keep track of how many times she practices something and though to me that seems like 'work' that means nothing to the kids they seem to thrive in that!
Being a Suzuki Piano Mama requires creativity and flexibility! It is certainly a lot more commitment from my part (and my husband's!) and sometimes I wished I could just drop them off during lesson time and send them to practice while I do house chores...but so far, I have been very happy with the rewards I witness and am part of - that is...the music I hear, the enjoyment with music I see in the kids, the lack of fear or stress over and around the piano and the relationship we have around music. Not easy - but no one told me it was easy from the start :D
Dear Diary (Winter 2013):
Samuel is now beginning to play with hands together - and has covered more pieces now. In one of the lessons though, I was reminded that there is always something to polish in each piece. This was news to me - as a piano student I had grown up tackling a piece and then quite literally flipping the page to move on to the next song never again touching that old song again. The kids' teacher reminded me that for us, we want to revisit the 'old' songs over and over again because there is always ways we can polish it to make them sound even better.
I have stopped playing Suzuki Piano Cd's in the car for a while but lately I started off again. I also am playing other songs for the kids nowadays. The surprise? The kids actually now tell me what instruments they hear, what different classical songs convey to them (e.g. makes me think of someone running, i think he - the song - is happy/sad) and even sometimes Samuel tells me he thinks he hears patterns in the song. They must be learning somethings right :D
Dear Diary (Spring 2013):
I signed us up to the Pittsburgh Summer Institute for this Summer!!! After much debate, thought and discussion we decided to try it out -There are Suzuki Summer Institutes all over the world...these are one week summer-camp like things where the kids and parents focus on the music and develop relationships with other musicians and parents too. We were going to visit Pittsburgh anyways so we figured we will try it out - I'm sure I will blog about that adventure! There is a little stress in me over how the camp will go but the idea of going away to a music camp TOGETHER seems like a good investment..not only for their piano skills, but as a family. More on that later!!!
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